


just be true to my trust in you

by shyasamouse



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: Autistic Character, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Multi, Pre-Poly, Teeny bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-18
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-16 20:13:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,353
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11836194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shyasamouse/pseuds/shyasamouse
Summary: William needs a break, Sacharissa takes charge and Otto feels out of place





	just be true to my trust in you

**Author's Note:**

> hey, so... i finally read the truth and i love it and i wish i read it earlier. i wasnt planning on writing anything, but my brain got stuck on this idea so i wrote it to get it out of my system. thus, this is not betaed or heavily edited so if there are any glaring mistakes, feel free to let me know. also, i hope this is in character? i tried my best to get the right feel, but its hard to be sure i found the right voice 
> 
> just in case: this fic revolves around william being autistic and going through a shutdown (based on my personal experience). if you dont know what that is, it's basically an extreme stress/overstimulation reaction where the person 'shuts down', generally by dissociating heavily and involving what is basically temporary paralysis (usually the person ends up frozen in their position until the shutdown is over). the person going through a shutdown is generally still aware of their situation, just unable to respond to anything. it can be pretty scary and overwhelming but it does depend on the situation and the person. so if that sounds like something you might not want to read about, here's your warning to back out 
> 
> this is set like a year after the truth about? idk sometime before going postal but early after the truth

William de Worde pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, the pressure doing little to combat the tension building behind his temples. He sighed, dropping his hands. He was overworking himself, he knew that, but this article had to be finished by tonight to be ready for the morning edition tomorrow.

He could hear the muffled sounds of stories being made outside his and Sacharissa’s office. He’d closed himself in here to finish this story about the Watch’s latest arrest and the minor increase in peace and quiet was worth the nagging feeling that he was hiding in here. 

At least it was getting late, nearing dinnertime. Most everyone else was wrapping up for the day in order to head home. Sacharissa was out still, interviewing the ladies of the Morporkian Silly Hat Society, which apparently had a decades long feud with the Sto Lat Ladies Headwear Society. It was, apparently, quite a gripping tale of betrayal, resentment and the kind of chilly politeness found at most family holiday get-togethers. It had necessitated quite a lot of interview time to get the entire sordid story pieced together; Sacharissa had been rather proud about finally pulling together the last details.

Meanwhile, William’s article was one of the last stories that needed to be completed to finish up for the day. He picked up his pen again, staring down at the words on the page as if they’d personally offended him. In fact, they rather had, by failing to reach the level of coherency and elegance he expected of his own writing. He tried to read over what he had so far, and found his eyes once again slipping down lines without comprehension. He couldn’t quite focus on the words and the tension in his head felt like a brewing headache or worse. 

William sighed, dropping the pen and standing up. Maybe it was time for a break. It’d been a horrendously long week and he had been pushing himself hard. He stepped out into the main room and froze.

He’d forgotten how bright it was in the main room to his office, and he had to squint just to see the bustle going on. It was hectic and loud, everyone calling out to each other as they left for the day or turned in their story or complained about an irritating source. It was overwhelming and suddenly the doorway that would lead to the street and fresh air (as fresh as Ankh-Morpork air gets anyway) seemed to be an impossible distance away.

William spun around, closing the door and blinking rapidly as he stared into the dim light of his office. Even the candle on his desk was starting to bother his eyes, and he closed them, trying to think. He’d pushed himself hard today, interviewing Watch members and chasing down the victim’s family to interview them too and dealing with the insanity that was Dibbler’s newest business venture.

Closing himself up in the office should have helped him refresh but instead he felt just as bad as he had before coming in here to write the article. William had had episodes like this before, and now he wanted to do what he usually did when things got overwhelming.

The dark space between his desk and the wall called out to him and on impulse, he dropped to the floor there and pressed his face to his knees. William could already feel his muscles locking up and his thoughts growing heavy and distant. He felt tired and embarrassed and he lost track of time as he stared at the wall and tried to stop thinking the kind of thoughts that dragged him even deeper into the spiral of exhaustion. 

~ ~ ~

Sacharissa Cripslock pushed through the bustle that was the Times main room, waving a hand vaguely at a departing writer, and stepped into her and William’s office. As soon as the door closed, she relaxed, sliding out of her coat and dropping her notebook on her desk, only to notice the obvious lack of William at his desk.

Eyebrows furrowing, she glanced around. The office was still and quiet. William’s desk had his notebook, an article, and a pen spread across it, but there was no sign of… “William?” she said, glancing back at the office door thoughtfully. She stepped towards William’s desk, and froze for a moment before taking a fortifying breath and kneeling down to get a good look at her fiancé. “William?” she tried again, looking him over with a thorough and worried eye.

He was breathing, that was a good sign, but it was slow and deep. He didn’t look up or respond besides a slight twitch of his head in her direction. Oh dear, she wasn’t sure but… one evening after a horrible day, William had come into the office with her to take a break, only to fold up in front of her like a puppet with its strings cut as soon as they were alone. He’d disappeared into himself with barely a word and hadn’t resurfaced for nearly an hour. After that, he’d sat with his hands in hers and talked in a stilted, shaking voice about his experiences with what he called ‘shutting down’, where sometimes he was just too tired and everything was too much and so he collapsed and curled in on himself for a little while. He’d asked her to stay with him when it happened, hold his hand and remind him that she was there.

She had held his face in her hands then and made him promise to tell her when things were getting too stressful, so that she could always be there. William had smiled that awkward little smile and promised and swore that was all he needed her to do to help. 

Sacharissa had tried to keep an eye on him after that but she hadn’t seen him in anything like the state he was in last time since. She cursed herself a little now, for being gone all day and failing to be there when he needed her.

Curling her legs under her, she sat, and after carefully smoothing out her skirt, she leaned into his shoulder and took his hand. William still didn’t move but he let out a little breath and his fingers gave an aborted twitch as she tangled their fingers together. 

Sacharissa sat with him for a few minutes while she thought out her plan for the evening. Obviously, her story on the hat societies feud would have to be put off, although she would bring her notes home to perhaps work on before bed. The priority here was to get William home safely, she’d seen how tired and distracted he was after the last time this happened. No, the best bet would be to walk him home and make sure he was alright before leaving him entirely.  

The problem was that there were still a few things to do before then. Sacharissa heard a clatter and a exclamation from outside the office and, recalling how William had mentioned that loud noises and bright light made his shut-downs worse, she noted it would be best to clear everyone else out for the day. Closing up for the day would take some time, between getting everyone out and locking up. And, she would bet, William hadn’t eaten yet, (since she hadn’t eaten yet either) and that would need to be dealt with. But she didn’t want to leave him on his own, not after he’d asked her to stay with him.

She glanced at her fiancé, who was still curled up and unmoving. Oh, she hated to leave for even a second, but there was only one thing to do. Sacharissa squeezed William’s hand and told him gently, “I’ll be right back.”

Then she stood up, swept out of the room, and headed for the cellar.

~ ~ ~

Otto von Chriek hummed to himself as he carefully prepared another iconograph to be sent up to the printing press above. He generally ignored the bustle of the main room, all those different scents and heartbeats were just a distraction from his work, but he noticed when when Sacharissa approached the door to the cellar.

He put away his equipment carefully and glanced up in time to catch the tail end of Sacharissa’s carefully neutral face. It was the kind of expression that made him suspect that she was trying deliberately to be unobtrusive. Something was wrong. "Is everything alright, Sacharissa?" 

Sacharissa sighed, looking worn out. “Would you mind bothering everyone into clearing out a bit early tonight? Quietly please? And then come to my office once everyone's on the way out?”

Otto raised an eyebrow. Typically, Sacharissa and William would be calling for everyone to stay later to finish one last story, not closing up early. But if Sacharissa was asking it of him.. he shrugged and said, “For you? Of course.”

Sacharissa gave him a small smile and stepped back out. Otto followed after a moment, attempting to ignore the little voice in his head that whispered how true that was, that he would do anything for William and Sacharissa. He silenced it ruthlessly, and got to work shooing the rest of the staff out of the building. Some of them complained a bit, but all it took was a sharp smile and a mention of Sacharissa’s demand to get them to leave, if slowly.

Sometimes, Otto missed terrifying a crowd with a single, pointed comment and a smirk, but of course, that was not the kind of vampire that he was trying to be now. At this point, he would be disappointed in himself if he fell off the wagon like that, so to speak. Not to mention how Sacharissa and William would react. Best to stick to his iconographs, and the Times.

He stepped into the office, and was surprised to see Sacharissa sitting on the floor. She waved him forward, and it was a bit more worrying than Sacharissa's sudden dismissal of chairs to see William also on the floor, curled into himself and completely still.

He squatted down next to the couple, a respectable distance away, and glanced at Sacharissa. She looked worried but not terrified, and William's heartbeat was steady, which meant that whatever was happening wasn’t life threatening. “Vot is vrong? How can I help?" Otto asked her, suspecting that William wouldn’t be the one answering right now.

Sacharissa bit her lip and, after a moment, replied, “William’s feeling overwhelmed. I asked you to send everyone away so that it could be quieter in here, but I think we just have to wait it out until he’s feeling good enough to leave. Can you stay with us so that he knows that he’s not alone?”

Otto nodded, feeling a little out-of-place, but agreeing on instinct. He’d do anything to help either of them, but he doubted that William _needed_ him here to feel better. Still, there was no way he could leave after seeing William like this, so it was easier to accept her reasoning. He shifted over to sit on William’s other side, mirroring Sacharissa.

~ ~ ~

William didn’t know why Sacharissa had called in Otto. Or how she had known, somehow, how much it would help. But it did. He could almost relax, sitting with his fiancé and his best friend next to him. Together, they were like an anchor and the weight of their presence kept him from drifting off completely.

They talked quietly, saying words that he didn’t bother to interpret as he let himself drift away from his thoughts. It was enough just to hear them existing and feel their warmth. His surroundings swam in and out of focus as he pushed away from what had been overloading him and started to work his way back out the other side.  

It felt like forever and a day before his limbs started to register their own stiffness and the tight sensation of clenched muscles. It was another couple minutes before William felt like he could even shift without his brain screaming at him to stop moving. His muscles loosened and groaned in protest as he slowly stretched out his legs and dropped his shoulders.

Sacharissa started talking as soon as he began to move. “William? Are you doing better?”

He managed a short nod, not trusting his voice to sound like himself, nevermind form actual words. He breathed out, leaning back onto his desk. On impulse, he reached out and took the hands of the two next to him. He risked a glance at Sacharissa, but it was like staring into the sun, all of her concern and love focused so bright that he had to look away.

She grasped his hand firmly and asked, “Do you want dinner? I can get something plain from the shop down the road?”

William analyzed the slowly evaporating fuzziness in his head and the soreness in his muscles versus the grumbling of his stomach and managed another nod and a return squeeze. Sacharissa smiled at him, and even out of the corner of his eye, it was brilliant enough to make him squint.

She kissed his cheek and stood up, grabbing her coat and telling Otto to stay here with William while she got some food. William listened to her footsteps leaving, and then registering what she had said, glanced down at the hand he was still holding. It was a thin, delicate hand with gray skin and dark nails. Otto’s hand.

Embarrassed, his grip relaxed instinctually and he looked up to see Otto watching the door. Otto’s face was always hard to read properly, and right now, William would swear that he had been carved from marble. But as Otto noticed him looking, his face cracked and broke into a gentle smile. Otto’s fingers move to intertwine with his and grasp his hand fully. William, caught staring, met Otto’s eyes for just a moment before the concern and care in the vampire’s expression was too much to look at and he found himself forced to drop his gaze.

Their hands were safe to watch, however, and he carefully began to investigate Otto’s hand while they waited. William was too tired to feel much of anything, but he still felt a simple comfort in the fact that both Otto and Sacharissa had stayed with him when he was so vulnerable. With their hands tangled together, and the simple gratitude in his heart, William decided that if he could trust anyone besides Sacharissa with such things, it would always be Otto.

~ ~ ~

Sacharissa paid for the food and tucked the bag under her arm as she hurried back to the office. She hated leaving but there were things to do and she could trust Otto. As she headed back through the Times main room, she checked over everything for tomorrow one last time, and decided everything was as complete as it was going to be.

Mind made up about her plans for the rest of the night, Sacharissa walked into the office, calling “Boys?”.

Otto and William both looked up. Sacharissa was relieved when William met her eyes for a moment, looking much more centered. “Boys?” Otto echoed, looking bemused.

She rolled her eyes at him as she approached, dropping the food on William’s desk. “Yes, My boys,” she repeated cheerfully. Reaching down, Sacharissa grabbed their hands and pulled them up. William wavered a little, but looked steadier than she had expected.   

William smiled, a tiny twitch of the lips. “I think she’s got us there,” he said, his voice low and tired but amused. Sacharissa leaned over to kiss his cheek and then, smirking, kissed Otto’s cheek as well. If vampires could blush, she thought he would have been bright red. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, William,” she said, sliding her hand through his elbow to hold him. He leaned into her slightly, and seemed content to stay there.

Otto picked up the food and offered it to Sacharissa. He was smiling, but she knew him well, and while it would probably fool William, she suspected that Otto was hiding worry behind his smile. Well, Sacharissa wasn’t going to put up with that. She deftly avoided the food in order to hook her open elbow into his, pulling him to her side. Otto should have been able to pull away anytime that he wanted, but he let her drag him, gently holding her arm.

She knew that she’d read him correctly.

Sacharissa tightened her grip on them both, suddenly unwilling to let either go. “Right. We’re taking William home.”

She felt William and Otto glance at each other before she began to pull them forward. She closed up the building as they left, and then led them down the street. With her boys on either arm, Sacharissa decided that respectability could take a backseat for a little while.

~ ~ ~

Otto let himself be tugged down the street to William’s new apartment, led inside and pushed down onto the couch. Sacharissa, after sitting both him and William down, started poking around and brought out some dinnerware. She passed over some food to William, who slowly began to eat, and to Otto, who accepted the plate with some bemusement. This whole night had been rather unexpected. William had given him some details on what his ‘shutting down’ consisted of while Sacharissa had been getting food and Otto was glad that they both trusted him with something so obviously personal. He’d been happy to stay with William while he was lost in himself but this was something different.

This apartment was going to be William and Sacharissa’s, after their marriage. He’d heard them talking about finding their own place, and this one certainly looked nice. And somewhat unused, he noted, taking in the lack of clutter and the untouched look of much of the furniture. He knew that this was a large apartment, but the lack of that ‘lived-in’ feel suggested that William spent much more time at the office than here. Nevertheless, this was to be their home, and yet here he was, perched on the stiff couch next to William.

There was a companionable silence as the food slowly disappeared. William looked half-asleep, leaning back onto the couch with his eyes mostly closed. Sacharissa had pulled out her notebook, and started flipping through the pages distractedly. Otto grabbed the plates and dropped them off in the kitchen, planning to make his excuses and leave the couple to it.

He paused in the kitchen doorway, watching as Sacharissa closed her book in order to hold William’s hand again.

Otto held back a sigh, trying to dismiss his melancholy. Was it so surprising, that he fell in love with the two people who made Ankh-Morpork feel like a home? But their home wasn’t for him. It was more than past time to go. “Thank you for ze food, Sacharissa. And I am very glad zat Villiam is feeling better, but I think it is time for me to go, yes?”

Sacharissa sat up straighter, frowning, “Oh Otto, I’m so sorry to keep you, it was good to have you here but you-“

William, who had opened his eyes and sat up when Otto spoke, interrupted, “Don’t go. Not if you don’t really want to.” He paused, and started to blush, blinking rapidly. “I mean, go if you have to. But if you want to stay, please do.” He stopped there, looking embarrassed but resolute.  

Otto froze in place, feeling like he’d stepped off the edge of the cliff and now hung, momentarily, in midair. “Ah, I – Do you vant me to stay? Both of you?”

Sacharissa smiled and said, “Of course. I said that you were my boys, didn’t I?” Leaving her notebook altogether, she stretched out a hand toward him.

William glanced at between Sacharissa and Otto before stretching out his hand as well. “I want both of you here,” he said haltingly, truthfully.

Otto breathed out, imagining the ground rushing up towards him. He _shouldn’t_.  

He stepped forward and let them take his hands.


End file.
